“Actual” as in, it must be true because I read it in an e-mail I got on the Internet.
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOUR’S DOG
FREE PUPPIES… PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT… BEEN OUT AWHILE. BETTER BE REWARD.
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING “WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS”
SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA – FREE CHOPSTICKS
HUMMELS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER “IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!”
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 — $9 PER HOUR.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175.
OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.
ALZHEIMER’S CENTRE PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.